Appreciating Life~

First and foremost, thank you for giving me another chance. I do appreciate it and I'll try my very best to improve myself.

Monotonous Mondays

Actually, that's what revolves around me not only on Monday but everyday.
Wake up, work, lunch, work, dinner, face the computer, sleep and another cycle.

Christmas is just around the corner and I have nothing in mind yet.
My colleagues are taking leaves except me. It seems like there's no hope for me in getting an extra day off. However, taking a day off serves no purpose as I have no plans. *lol*

*Edited*

P/S: Pay day is coming soon *giggling*

Ma, I miss you

Ma, I wonder if u can read this but if you do, I want to let you know I miss you alot!
If you're here, I bet you can guide me through every single little problems I've/I'll encounter(ed) in life, including this current problem I have now. I really don't know what I should do?

I wish I can dream of you.. I really miss you.
I bet we could get along well
I bet I'll be close to you
I bet I'll share everything with you like every other daughters and moms

I wish I could hug you everyday and get a kiss from you everyday like when I was young before leaving to school.

Most of all, Ma, I wish you well. Till we meet again!

My latest ADD ONS to my collection

Hehehe, this post is more for self-satisfaction. My latest collection of stickers, particularly Sandylions.

Since young, I love Sandylion stickers alot but living in a small town restricted me from buying them. However, now I have the chance to get them and I recently got 3 *laughing*

Left: Dental stickers (not Sandylion)
The remaining are Sandylion stickers

My latest collection of Sandylion stickers

This is Sandylion's prismatic type of sticker which has glittery effects.
I bought snowman in occassion of the Christmas season.

This is a Fuzzy type which has a velvet material.
This type is my favourite.

This is a kormekote type.
Notice the circle on the bottom right-hand corner?
I've circled it to show the missing head (I assure you no photoshop)

This is a similar shot but different angle.
The missing head was due to the flash and angle.
I didn't notice till I posted it.

Holidays on the last month of the year

Being the last month of the year, there'll be public holidays and this year we have extras. (although not all are gazetted public holidays). We'll have Hari Raya Haji this coming Monday, 8th December followed by Sultan Selangor's birthday which on the 11th December then Christmas, 25th and Awal Muharram on the 29th December. Not forgeting 1st January 2009 as well.

However, of all the mentioned public holidays, I only have Christmas, New Year and Sultan Selangor's birthday as non-working days where as the rest is half day. Sad sad...

What do I have to face everyday during work? Let me list it down:
1) blood samples
2) urine samples
3) sysmex and ESR machines
4) microscope and slides
5) histograms
6) people at work
7) wastes

So far, people at my workplace are nice people. I hope I'll continue to maintain a good relationship with all of them.

WHY?

WHY ARE U SO UNFAIR TO ME?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONLY ONE TO BE BLAME?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FORCE ME?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL I'M USELESS?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL I'M A NOBODY?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME ANGRY?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE MY TEARS ROLL DOWN MY CHEEKS?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FORGET TO LOVE ME?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL NOT LOVED?
WHY???????????
YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE?

I am happy~~

because I got good news regarding my job search..and
because I got something I wish a person will like (it's a secret)..and
because I have a plan, not mischievous but I'm liking it ..and
because I am listening to my favourite list of musics.. *lol* and
because part of my burden/trouble was lifted

Actually, I've been bad today. I've rejected a job offer. I did so not because I'm choosy but the job scope isn't too suitable for me, especially coming from the East side of Malaysia. I only knew the real thing only after the interview. Part of me was glad when the company called me up telling me I was accepted. However, I'm feeling so bad that I'm quiet for today.

All this while, I don't like to reject people and the simplest NO is hard to come out from my mouth. Probably it's because of the environment that I was brought up in. I know how it feels to be rejected and I know what it's like when you needed help most but nobody is able to lend you a hand. I know it somehow. It's high time I have to stand up and do what I have to.

Actually, Mel told me regarding this matter the other day, after my job interview, when we met up at Pavvy. She told me a very important fact that I explain too much, especially when I have to reject or say NO to others. Well, come to think about it, she's not wrong. I don't directly reject or say NO to others but I will keep explaining about this and that till that someone will get the idea that I actually couldn't help/do something/go somewhere. *LOL* I guess I flood people with too many reasons.

So, today I did the right thing. I didn't give people lots of unnecessary explanations. Firstly, I asked the company if they could approve my request/conditions. When they say NO I then apologised and rejected the offer. After I hung up the call, I had a funny feeling, I felt weird, I'm not used to this, I wasn't actually sure if I was down? or glad? or sad? or disappointed? that I became quiet the whole day. Anyway, burden's lifted and that's all that matters. I faced my problem(s) and I didn't ran away. *smiling like a kid getting praised*

Some matters can't be put to rest

I always hear stories from my dear friends on how their family members near or far reunites /gathers during the festive seasons or at certain occasions and how close they are to each other. There's always a little voice inside me saying, I wish I can have that/ I wish I can feel/experience that. I am not fretting but more to expressing my thoughts here.

I used to think families are blood related people to me and are definitely closest to me. I was naive that I trusted each and everyone of them. There were also quite a number of Hong Kong Chinese series that shows conflicts, fight for properties/money and greediness among family members in especially larger ones. Whenever I watch them, I used to think it's all fictional and untrue. However, of recent, I can see and experience it and to be able to see the true colours of certain human beings really sends fear into my bloodstream.

Sometimes I don't understand why certain people can be so greedy that they can even ignore the blood relationship with the people they greed from or falsely accuse for their own benefit. Worse, they can be super nice to you but behind you, they are cursing you to your graves. I call such living "things", the hypocrites. Imagine having hypocrites in your family? *SWEATS*

Besides being a hypocrite, I found that such people doesn't have the guts to admit what they did. Again, they pinpoint others and put the blame on innocent people. I don't quite understand their motives.

I, for myself, I know I'm a stingy person but I'm certainly not greedy. I've always tried my best not to misuse others to gain profit/benefit. This is because growing up in such environment made me felt what it's like to be used, falsely accused and betrayed. It's definitely not something that I would like to recall but it'll always be on my mind.

Sometimes, a stranger is better than the person who's blood related to you, don't you think so?

Some of this "family member" people are so inconsiderate. I remember this event whereby my dad sincerely helped this scumbag because his own proclaimed (not by my immediate family of course) "bastard dog" was going to have his finals. He was so nice and full with excuses when he asked for my dad's help. He claimed that he needed more time for his son because he wants his son to get full A's and so my dad helped him in replacing some of his work shifts. So, now that my sis needs to buck up in studies, my dad need to return the shifts to the scumbag. Guess what? Of course the scumbag didn't help my dad in return but he also told my dad "I CAN HANDLE WHY NOT YOU?". Hello??!~~~ Have you forgotten that you need my dad's help too? Have your forgotten that my sister is a human that deserves help too? He literally forgot that he asked for helped when he told my dad that in fact he didn't. Such a hypocrite!!

It's so frustrating at times but what can I do? Born into such family isn't anybody's choice. However, I'm lucky to have my dad, my mom, my sisters and brother who are close to each other. We never depend on those hypocrites. May you hypocrites have the best as you all strive so much in hopes to inherit those stupid rotten properties.